Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
