So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
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I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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