I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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