and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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