I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
please come you make the beer taste better
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
