she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
