holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I fill condoms, not promises.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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