Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
COCAINE IS GR8
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
