I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
