1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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