I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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