rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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