she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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