Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
