I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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