If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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