I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
no you cant smoke seaweed
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
