Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
