dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
