I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
