I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
