just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
