Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
