so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm too high and old for this...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
