and you said cock pushups were impossible
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
