What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
