so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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