We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
how does that bad decision feel?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
