I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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