It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
