is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I pour the whiskey from now on
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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