Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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