You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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