Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize