we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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