Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
