i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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