So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
