i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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