some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
