Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
