Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
