Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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