Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
