So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
