i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need a hobby that isn't dick related