what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.