Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.

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  (909): College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe. http://tfl.nu/4iki
  Replies (50) Good night (11117) Bad night (1070)
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  (562): View more from California

  tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will

  (714): View more from California

  and a girl gets the red ring of death every month

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  (562): tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will (714): and a girl gets the red ring of death every month http://tfl.nu/ybz8
  Replies (59) Good night (6107) Bad night (1411)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my margaritas pass through security.

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  (610): I hope my margaritas pass through security. http://tfl.nu/1pwp
  Replies (7) Good night (4207) Bad night (626)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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  (250): Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night? http://tfl.nu/nxqa
  Replies (7) Good night (3484) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

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  (214): My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you http://tfl.nu/i385
  Replies (12) Good night (4017) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though

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  (406): I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though http://tfl.nu/qgj2
  Replies (1) Good night (1671) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

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  (707): Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis http://tfl.nu/prx7
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (2776)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float

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  (931): making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float http://tfl.nu/pj8f
  Replies (12) Good night (2884) Bad night (660)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question

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  (570): I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me (1-570): How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question http://tfl.nu/l5jk
  Replies (11) Good night (948) Bad night (1656)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.

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  (608): He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/dgwh
  Replies (6) Good night (1951) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

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  (831): I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger. http://tfl.nu/whys
  Replies (7) Good night (1206) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.

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  (425): I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it. http://tfl.nu/yofk
  Replies (1) Good night (990) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life

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  (787): The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life http://tfl.nu/y1id
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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  (775): he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever http://tfl.nu/oimy
  Replies (4) Good night (265) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.

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  (440): You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex. http://tfl.nu/jc9e
  Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (191)

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