Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
