Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(216): View more from Ohio

you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...

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(270): View more from Kentucky

It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.

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(903): View more from Texas

So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Beer bonging to Ave Maria

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(248): View more from Michigan

I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative

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