Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.