The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize