jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
