I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
