In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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