Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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