For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
