he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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