Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
