Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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