I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
