i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Boobs speak an international language.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
