My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
