i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
