Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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