he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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