It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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