Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
