We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
