last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
