she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you never un-have a 4some
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
