You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
