So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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