Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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