What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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