I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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