just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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